Thursday, October 29, 2015


College shakes your world. New people. New place. New churches. New teachers. New roads. New absolutely everything. In so many ways, college is a place of a good, new start. A new beginning to a whole new world where high school doesn't matter anymore and those awkward middle school years are far behind you. But even through all the good in moving away to college, beliefs are tested. There is alcohol, drugs, sex, and pure darkness intermixed in the good. There is the typical girl drama and the boys who treat girls like a play date. Losing friends and being broke as a joke. Classes pull so much attention and energy. Events pile up to the point that my planner is unreadable at times. I love college and my friends and all the opportunities I have been given. I have a lot of fun and my grades are good. But.. in the middle of my busy life, where is my time for God? Is my life glorifying God, or myself? In so many ways, I want to say yes, I am living for God in everything I do. No, I'm not partying or getting wasted.. but is my everyday life an example of Jesus? Am I showing grace ? The answer is regretfully, not all the time. When I am brutally honest with my myself and Jesus.. I realize that I give out judgement and gossip. I speak death and not life way too often. It may not be a "cuss word" , but it is not speaking through Christ. I glorify myself when I accomplish something like a test I think I bombed, but ended up rocking or when I make time for God I give myself a pat on the back. When I felt this conviction of being lost in my busy young adult life, this question came to my head :
What do you really believe ? 
 Do I really believe that God looks at me with eyes of grace? Do I believe that God sacrificed his
only son for me, so I can have a relationship with him? That simple truth of why I am a Christian completely becomes irrelevant to so many, including myself, when life becomes busy. The Word of God is easily thrown under my psychology book and my binder full of notes. Music becomes replaced with something popular and meaningless to fill up silence in a room instead of worship music full of truth and meaning that fills me up. The past few weeks, God has really been reminding me of why I believe and what it means to believe in Jesus. I believe in God's grace, so why is his grace only for me and no one else? I believe God has forgiven me for my mistakes and sins, but why is it okay for me to not forgive someone for theirs? I believe in God's love for me despite my undeserving soul, so why do I only extend love to family and friends when I feel like they deserve it? If I believe in Jesus, I believe in what he says to do and how to treat people. I forgive because Jesus forgave me. I love because God first loved me. I extend grace because without God's mighty grace.. I am my sin. With Jesus, I am changed from nothing to something.I take the label of lost off and put on the label of found. I become God's daughter, instead of an orphan. Because he loves me, I will give him my life. Not just my Sunday mornings and Thursday nights, but everyday, every second devoted to his kingdom. I am not saying that I am perfect or you will never make a mistake again, we are humans, But that is not an excuse to throw God into a small extra time in our day. It is not enough to just simply fall into a category enough to where you feel comfortable marking " Christian" on the SAT. There is SO much more to Jesus.. he is ever-present.. waiting for you to turn to him with everything. Not just your needs.. but when you can take on the love of Christ to give others you find the presence of God even more as you learn from the Word of God. This weekend I received an opportunity to serve the youth at my church in Valdosta. I was with eight 6th grade girls from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. I saw myself in them. I remember that God rescued me from brokenness time and time again. He brought me my church and my friends I had through high school. Now, 7 years later, I am at Valdosta State in a dorm room with my good friend, Miriam. God has provided. He has worked so mightly since my 6th grade year. From broken friends to broken family, God remained the same. It was me who drew apart or drew closer. He is faithful to his children and I am so blessed that I am called child. In order to lead others to the peace I have found in Christ, I must become more like him and remember his promises. My prayer for you and myself is that we would make intentional time for our God, to spend time in his Word and in prayer. Journal to him. Sing to him. Praise him for his grace, forgiveness, and love. My prayer is that we would become on fire for Christ so he would completely consume us and we can spread his truth to everyone for his glory, not our own.  What do you believe ? 
I love you all! As always, If you ever have any prayer requests or want someone to simply listen , I am always available. Thanks for reading !

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