"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it " Proverbs 4:23
Chances are you've heard this verse before, chances also are that you think it's a sweet verse, like the one you would post in your instagram bio or on a #selfiesunday caption. Trust me, I am guilty as any other. It sounds so strong & so wise, so perfectly worded. I have seen about three hundred thousand different diy crafts, posters, tattoos, clothes, & so on & on & ON based on this verse just on pinterest alone. Women ( sorry guys, I'm focusing on the ladies today ) LOVE this verse, so why do the majority of us not apply it ? Why do we decide to ignore this life saving principle in the word of God? The reason behind it is that we/I, like so many other ladies, have been washed ashore by the waves of pressure to conform to this world. This world says, ' it is okay to show everything you have' , ' it is okay to have sex outside of marriage' , ' it is okay to watch inappropriate content online', ' it is ok to let a man completely disrespect you' , ' IT IS OK' ... because everybody else is doing it. This generation of people scream that it is ok to just do whatever you want. We are told that these principles of respect are void because this is a 'different time.' That life is without consequence, & that you can simply break anybodys' heart or flounce around with the three words , ' I love you' because ya know, who cares right?? .. I wish sometimes I could say yes, that heart break isn't a consequence, that when you are devalued by a boy.. that it doesn't change you. I wish I could say I haven't said ' I love you' to a multitude of boys & I wish I could tell you that every man you meet is going to treat you the way you deserve.. wait, ' deserve '? This is what I have struggled with for so long. See, I was/ am working on not being 'boy crazy' . by this I mean the desire to have a 'boyfriend' , everybody else had one, so why not me? This started about 8th grade. I decided I as gonna 'go out ' ( note : I never actually went anywhere with them, I even avoided them at school) with these boys, which ultimately just ended up with me balling my little eyes out because well, he was a 13 year old boy. My mom then would say, ' Kalyn, guard your heart.' & ya know what I did, I pursued another. Over & over, & over I just slid my heart on down my sleeve. I am 17 now, its been about 4-5 years of giving myself emotionally away to countless guys who frankly, did not deserve it. I spent hours trying to get them to like me. I changed my interest so they would think I was interesting. I literally tweeted things I didn't even care about just so they would think I was 100% interested about whatever they were into. I obsessed over my weight & outward appearance to their taste in girls. I have let guys use me & forsure did not guard my heart. The enemy snatched me up right there by deceiving me of the truth with the comparison of my relational life with that of others. The thing is that I didn't care what the guy did, I ' cared' if he respected me, but my view of respect was the world's view. On twitter, all I see is boys calling their ' wcw ', sexy or retweets about a woman's body. Then their girlfriend's response is ' awww baby I love you." I am so guilty of this so I am not calling you out, but Ladies, here me out.. A speaker we had, explained it this way : Everytime she ' broke up' with a guy, he left with a piece of her heart. Well after so many, you have nothing left to give. Like so many girls, this happened to me. I ran out. I became bitter, I find it a constant struggle everyday to be loving, caring, or self controlled because my heart is overflowing with the brokenness of these years & years of heartbreak due to my lack of application of an extremely important verse that is directly pointed toward this generation I feel. I find it hard to find value. I find it hard to trust. I find it hard to believe in myself or respect myself. I do not think that God wants me to be in a relationship with a boy who can not stop touching me or a boy who frightens me by violent threats. Girls, this is such a topic raging on my heart recently. ONE IN FOUR COLLEGE GIRLS REPORT BEING RAPED OR IN A SITUATION OF RAPE. One in four! I know because sad to say, but this situation has happened so very personally to me & many of my friends. No, thank God the situation did not progress in my personal story as it does in so many others, but it happens daily. This number is so ridiculously high because of these beautiful young girls who too often fall into the trap of thinking they don't deserve the absolute best. Girls around the world are manipulated into the horrid trade of girls for sex & money . These girls honestly feel they deserve this kind of treatment, but if only they knew they deserve respect & love. Love that transcends all understanding. Women just want to feel loved, needed, & wanted, we will do just about anything to keep a guy who we constantly feel so ' in love ' with around, even though they speak & treat us as if we are so little. When we are craving that attention, it is easy to give up what we know is right for something that just seems like a ' small disadvantage.' An amazing man of God spoke to a group of children the other day & he addressed the young innocent girls in the room by telling them that when they do on a date, & the guy does not open the door then turn around & go home. Wait.. hold up.. that sounds ridiculous right ?.. because I mean this guy is CUTE , & my friend's boyfriends don't open the door for them.. He continued by saying the boy is not leading you, he is behind you. I have heard rare girls say they would forgo a date because he didn't open the door... & I sure as all get out, would not have left because I don't see the value I have through God's eyes when I let a man treat me disrespectfully. Your standards are never too high. You being the fearfully & wonderfully made daughter of God you are, DESERVE the absolute best. When I let a boy speak to me in perverse language or I let a boy touch me in a way he should not, this is not being valued nor is it recognizing what I deserve. You deserve chivalry, you deserve love, pure love, but pure love comes when your heart is seeking the Lord, as well as his. Chivalry is not dead & neither is the man God has so perfectly set apart for you. find your beauty in God, find your comfort in a Savior who is always there instead of a boy who is only there when he gets something out of it. Have respect for yourself as your heart & body belonging solely to God. Patience darling, your man of God who is ready to lead you will come with the almighty's timing.. I know it is tough & sometimes a very lonely road, but Guard your heart, & you will walk in the fullness of a pure heart & spirit who never walks away.