All around us

Honor and majesty are [found] in His presence; strength and joy are [found] in His sanctuary. ~ 1 Chronicles 16: 27(AMP) 

Presence. The definition of presence is "existence in place: the physical existence or detectability of something in a place at a particular time." I used to hear pastors speak on stage before a message with the prayer of , " let your great presence fill this room." As a young believer I was like, uhmmm God is in heaven. I actually remember looking around like Jesus was just gonna walk in the through the back doors through the pews & just sit with us. Yeah, no, I was wrong. I didn't learn about this amazing blessing we are given of his presence until about two years ago. I learned that it is the holy spirit we were so graciously given as Jesus died on the cross for us. That God is the holy spirit that lives in us & all around us. Well, I was still kinda new at the opening up to God & truly diving in so it was awhile until I really decided I wanted to try this out. So one day, the youth band was playing the song " With Everything." Everyone around me had just got back from this conference, Motion. These kids, my friends, were on fire. Like I mean you felt it when you walked in that sanctuary. God had touched them. I am a very observational person, so I watched. I watched how they forgot this world, and they seemed to disappear into what seemed to be another part of this world that I was DYING to see. So I prayed this prayer, " Lord, I wanna feel what they feel. I believe in you & your word, but I want more." & God sure did answer my prayer. I raised my hands, closed my eyes, & just sang , " with everything, with everything we will shout out your name. " Tears immediately fell from my eyes & chill bumps raised up out of nowhere. It wasn't cause it was cold, because it was summer crammed with students in a rather small space, it was the presence of God that touched me. I felt safe. I felt this love wash over me as I praised him. This is a memory that I will never forget because it was the day I truly began my journey.  Yes, I had already said the prayer to make him Lord. But, that day I began my intimate romance with my Savior. I am so thankful I began this walk. It was the best decision I ever made. It is amazing how God prepares you so abundantly before the storm. Two years ago I didn't know where I would be. If somebody would have told me the relationships, the struggles, the loses, the gains, the good times, and the bad, I wouldn't have believed them. The thing is that God knew. He knew that my life would be shaken. He knew that I would cry & yell. He knew I would be attacked in ways that I didn't even think possible, but he had showed me himself. Countless nights I laid in my floor uncontrollably crying just talking to God because he is my bestfriend. He is what I held on to when I felt this huge blackhole of mourning, sorrow, & confusion was going to drag me into this neverending hole of darkness. A girl at camp asked me our small group about presence. OH how I loved telling her that God is already here. He is right here. He is with her. He is with me. He is with you right now. He is just patiently waiting for you to make that decision to come into his presence. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
~ Psalm 139: 7 He is a call away. Jesus died to have an intimate & real relationship with us. He loves us. The song " oh how he loves us" is so true. It is why I break down in tears & feel this peace in my soul. Because God is better than this world. He is bigger than the hurt. He is greater than the depression. And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” ~ Exodus 33: 14 He is the calms the storm. He wraps us in his loving arms. He openly shows us love & favor because we are his children.

A few months ago we had a speaker at my youth service. It was about relationships, I know you should have heard the complains because no teenager wants to be told that they are too young to be in a serious relationship. Trust me, I am guilty. The guys & girls were split in separate rooms. And we all got prepared to be told the same thing again.. I thank God quite often for that speaker many days. She doesn't know it but she opened a door that day. I so often, like many other girls, love to fill up my empty spaces with compliments & boys that really probably don't care all that much about me. That message was about letting God be first. About this romantic relationship with Jesus. I never looked at it like a romance until that day. At the end, she did the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I wish I had it on video to play for all of you. She put on the song " Dance with me" by Hillsong. Which came on my Pandora during my facebook scroll & brought me to tears yet again. What she did was dance with Jesus. Literally. She turned it way up & fully forgot us. She wrapped her arm around his neck, took his hand & danced. It was so perfect. That night I went home, locked the door, & did the same thing. It was probably the most intimate thing I have ever done. I may have looked crazy, but I was having a deep conversation with my Savior as I let him lead me. I find myself doing this dance when I feel alone or unloved. His presence never fails you. Surrounding yourself in his love & grace makes life so much easier. You have someone holding you up. You constantly have a bestfriend to tell your hurts & celebrations with. Like Pastor Rob Stribling said, " he wants to be part of your celebrations." God doesn't just want you when you are on your knees because you are so broken, but when you are praising him for his miracles & joyful for his favor on your life. You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16: 11 Put yourself in a constant flow of his presence. The devotional , Jesus Calling, is always teaching about keeping open communication. Listening to him & talking to him all day. Giving thanks always for everything. Diving into his unfailing love & mercy.
The earth shook; the heavens also dropped rain at the presence of God; Sinai itself was moved at the presence of God, the God of Israel. ~ Psalm 68: 8

 

 

love that will never walk away

Love. The word that the basis of our human lives seems to revolve around. It is this need. This need of being wanted, of affection. No matter who you are there is a part of you that craves this feeling of being adored. About a year ago, when somebody said the word love I would automatically jump on the scene of when Noah and Allie die in a hospital bed, holding hands into an eternal love. Man, that's love. Isn't that the scene America loves to show as love. But what about love that isn't a romantic relationship like the ones we constantly are shown. What about the love of a father or mother? Or the love of a dear friend? Recently God has opened my eyes to the forms of love. That just as bad as I want this love, that I can never be satisfied until I believe I am loved. We feel as if these mistakes are now a part of our past .  On the days I feel like nobody cares, that I have just disappointed everyone to a point where they just cant love me. So many of us have this hole it seems of where we know we should feel love. We see it around us. We see this little girl who is being so tenderly loved by both parents. Or these bestfriends who are laughing until they cry. These couples who are holding hands and telling eachother " forever." Why can't I have that? Why am I feeling like everyone is so loved but me? This lie has haunted me. I didn't feel cared about. Sure I can put on a smile and say I'm fine, but the truth is that I just felt like I needed to feel this hole before I completely caved in. This led to lust. Anything that would just make me feel loved. This led to anger, so that I could just feel something, anything. I was numb. The thing is that I was missing my foundation of love. That I had strayed from the one who never leaves and never forsakes. He is there when I need to cry. He is never too busy. He thinks I am beautiful. He forgives. He is my rock. His name is Jesus. Let me tell you that Jesus sets free. Jesus is love.  Through Jesus , I am a beloved daughter. I am a child. I am a friend. This has filled that hole. Yes, I need human love, but I learned that I can't love others until I believe I am even worth loving. Jesus is my portion. oh, how he loves us. me and you. My prayer is that you would open your hearts to see that he is the only one who can satisfy fully. He heals your broken heart. The scars that boy left who you gave yourself to, he heals. The feeling of abandonment from family, he heals and revives your soul. The friend who you feel you can't talk to about your problems anymore, but you feel like you just have to vent to, he heals. He is the best listener. I have cried to him. I have yelled and screamed. I have laughed and smiled. He never leaves. He knows your heart, he wants you to get to know him. True love is the love in which gave up his life on a cross for you and me when we so don't deserve it. Open your heart to this everlasting love to renew your soul. His love never fails. I promise and so does he.

#shereadstruth ~ a peculiar people

The scripture tagged along with the #shereadstruth devo today is Titus 2:6-10.

"..So that in everything they may adom the doctrine of God our Savior" Titus 2:10

This section of Titus is explain doing good works in everything you do. That is the hardest part of being a Christian I believe. It is relatively easy to say a prayer in which you declare God the Lord of your life. I think the problem is that after the prayer, we stop. We said the prayer and now we are done. The thing is that God's treasures require giving up your life. You literally give up your old self and become a new person. I have a hard time with this because I get irritated so easily. Being a teenage girl, my hormones are raging about 99.999999% of the time. I snap at people and don't show the love I need to show to people. I yell and scream about the tiniest things then end up crying my eyes out later on. I let the world get the best of me. I've learned that you chose how you act. You chose to wake up in a good mood or not. You chose to yell at your brother and call him stupid for leaving cheetohs in between the couch cushions or you learn to show him love while showing him the correct way to do things. We are so quick to find something to complain about. Our weight, our house, our school, our friends, and so on. I'm entirely guilty of this. We make the world a hard place to live in a lot of the time without even acknowledging that we just aren't living up to the word of God. This question today in my email sparked a unique thought to me :

" Do you think of yourself as an adornment to the gospel, as something that makes the gospel beautiful to the world ? "

I immediately thought of this amazing woman at my church. Something draws me in about someone who is so joyful about life. This woman made the gospel beautiful to me by the way she lived. She lived forgivingly and faithfully. She explained her happiness as a symptom of Jesus in her life. Ah how beautiful is that ? The way she talked and the way she gave glory to God for everything she had was mesmerizing. It was what I wanted. Her smile was true and never faded. Ya know when you travel and see all these amazing places, these vast mountains and clear, blue water that stretches thousand of miles? I just stand in awe that God made this beautiful place and it just draws me more in to explore deeper and deeper into it. THAT is what I think we need to be for Jesus. Be so beautiful a reflection that we draw people into this journey with Christ. Of course, my Jesus Calling devo went right along with my #shereadstruth. God is amazing in that way. "my world is full of beautiful things; they are meant to be pointers to me, reminders of my abiding presence" Isn't that true, that the ocean reminds you of his presence. The roaring waves remind me of him overturning my sins into grace. The calm after the storm reminds me of his healing. Wouldn't it be awesome if we reminded people of his presence just like the ocean does ?

" The heavens declare the glory of God
the skies proclaim the work of his hands
Day after day they pour forth speech
night after night they display knowledge"  Psalms 19: 1-2

My prayer is to be like the skies. That I will proclaim his work everyday and have the knowledge to share Jesus with anyone I meet. I'm not saying that I twill happen instantly because I am human. I do have days when it is hard to change my selfish attitude or it is hard to not flick my brother in the head. The key is trying. Simply start trying to make the gospel beautiful to the world. The world is a dark place needing light. Even a small flicker of light attracts.

#shereadstruth ~ Spiritual mother

I am doing a devotional from #shereadstruth studying the small book of Titus. This organization sends daily email devotionals and often leaves you with a writing assignment. 

"How is spiritual mothering already taking place in your community? Has a godly woman influenced you in your growth in the Gospel, or has mentoring a young believer impacted your life? How would you like to see Titus 2 shape your relationships moving forward?"


As some of you may know, I love teaching kids about Jesus. About a year and a half ago, I was given the opportunity to serve in the children's church at my church. I know, kids? volunteer? a lot of me was scared. I knew I loved kids and that I could wrestle with them. I have a little brother and sister in elementary school, so I knew some of the basics. I assumed I would take some kids to the bathroom and wipe some noses. Never did I know the impact these kids would have on me. I never took into account that there would be relationships. These kids clung to me. I didn't understand why these children could just love me without knowing me. I soon discovered that they clung so tight because they needed love. They needed a smile. They needed a hug. They needed to see Jesus. Children don't get technical, well not all. They believe you and they believe in you 100%. You don't have to be perfect, just show them you care. Oh my, did I care. You have to be open. Sometimes these kids just talk about their cats or how they found a penny yesterday. It is simple, seems irrelevant, kinda stuff a lot of times. At first I was like okay, okay, okay. I soon realized that these beautiful kids were telling me these stories because I was the only person they could talk to . Some of these children don't have a mother speaking encouragement or grace and forgiveness to them. Some are hurt more than I could even comprehend, but they have that childlike faith. What an amazingly incredible thing it is. I learned that being a "spiritual mother" is loving unconditional. It is giving a Christ like love to someone. It is teaching kindness and encouraging them. Taking the time for them.

In my life I have been so very blessed to have spiritual mothers. One being my own mother. I remember that her answer to any problem is prayer. She is a prayer warrior. When she is upset, she prays. I've heard her so many times in the car, just declaring Jesus' name over every situation. I admire her for replacing tears with prayer. I'll always remember running in her room with tears just streaming down my face and her just saying lets pray about it. I also have been given the blessing of other "spiritual mothers". These women have encouraged me. They have listened to me. Sometimes that is exactly what you need, a verbal affirmation followed with a big hug. Sometimes you just need to tell someone what is going on with your life over a grande Starbucks. Or a person to text and say " please pray for me" and later in the day feel a weight lifted. I could not thank God enough for the women in my life.

Lastly, I find my "spiritual sisters" to be some of my biggest blessings. These girls both older, younger, and my age are so amazing. I find myself with sweet devotional texts so many mornings. Their hugs and caring astonishes me. In Christ, we have a bond much like Paul and Titus. These men were so close due to common faith which includes common hope. These women and girls create a hope in me. A safety. They show Christ's love even if they do not always realize it. They create opportunities and mentor me in everyway. We all are united by OUR savior which picks us up together and allows us to lead others to Christ.

" They are to teach what is good and to train the young women" Titus 2: 4