All the Poor & Powerless

Now before you read this, I would like for you to listen to this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrj8a1mdVPc


I am assuming that you just listened to this amazing song that brought me to tears a few weeks ago. This song that I feel like completely describes how I feel a majority of the time. Poor & Powerless. Like I am just stuck in a situation I cannot contain or help which leaves me feeling discouraged & useless. This feeling of being washed up by my past or current circumstance. Powerless to the point of not even wanting to try anymore. Just literally do not think I can continue. The feeling like running up a ridiculous mountain while being out of shape. You feel like your legs are going to give out. Your heart starts beating out of your chest, you just do not think you are going to make it to the top.

All the poor and powerless
And all the lost and lonely

I know so many people, very close people, that feel so lonely. Loneliness is a bitter feeling. Trapping your hurts & insecurities in your head with nowhere to put them. It gets a bit crowded in there, doesn't it? I know it did for me, I turned to just sleeping unbelievably much. Just so I could catch a break. Lost. Not knowing what to do or what to even say to try & make it. Not having a plan will drive me into a frenzy because being lost is like walking through the dark. You run into things & imagine things that really aren't there. You lose sight in a dark room causing you to feel powerless against the dark. I feel this is me in so many aspects of my life. I let things control me to where I feel so powerless against the darkness that washes over me.

All the hearts who are content
And all who feel unworthy
All who hurt will nothing left

Some hearts are content. What a beautiful thing a happy heart is. I am constantly saying " that makes my heart happy." I say this because I crave that feeling of a content joyful heart. It makes me feel lighter & brighter. Thank God for content hearts. Then there are these people who feel unworthy. These people who let their mistakes, failures, & past define them. It is a self doubt the enemy loves to throw over our heads. It eats you up every single time you try to move on. And there is hurt, hurt where you feel so empty. Hurt where you go home & shut down. Hurt where you are nothing but a body.  Now you ask, Kalyn ,this song is sad, why are you so crazy about this song? Like it is just saying how miserable it is to do life. This where our Jesus comes in.

Shout it, go on and scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God

 

These 22 words give me chills up my arms. They bring tears to my eyes. They make my heart so happy. Why? Because that is where my freedom lays. When we were in the Daytona & the Big Stuf band played this song that I had never heard of, it spoke loud. Everything I kept bottled up & everything that I felt was tearing me down, I told it to the mountain. I told the mountains in front of me that I don't have to be my hurt because HE IS GOD. I told my mountains that I am not poor but rich in Jesus' great love because HE IS GOD. I told my mountains that I am not lonely because of circumstances because HE IS GOD. I told my mountains that I am worthy in my renewal with Jesus Christ because HE IS GOD. I told them that I am powerful in my Savior because my God is holy.

 

All will sing out, Hallelujah
We will cry out, Hallelujah

 

WE. we the poor. we the powerless. we the lost. we the lonely. we the content. we the unworthy. we the broken. WE will know that he is holy. He changes us because he is God. This is why this beautiful song of breakthrough was burning in my heart today. Because when I feel let down or alone, I have my Jesus who covers all circumstance because he is God. This song shouts freedom from our insecurities & doubts & situations. Realizing that in Christ the mountains of life have no authority to block us from God's will, which is not to watch you sit & suffer, but to run to him because he is your God & lover in all things.







love that will never walk away

Love. The word that the basis of our human lives seems to revolve around. It is this need. This need of being wanted, of affection. No matter who you are there is a part of you that craves this feeling of being adored. About a year ago, when somebody said the word love I would automatically jump on the scene of when Noah and Allie die in a hospital bed, holding hands into an eternal love. Man, that's love. Isn't that the scene America loves to show as love. But what about love that isn't a romantic relationship like the ones we constantly are shown. What about the love of a father or mother? Or the love of a dear friend? Recently God has opened my eyes to the forms of love. That just as bad as I want this love, that I can never be satisfied until I believe I am loved. We feel as if these mistakes are now a part of our past .  On the days I feel like nobody cares, that I have just disappointed everyone to a point where they just cant love me. So many of us have this hole it seems of where we know we should feel love. We see it around us. We see this little girl who is being so tenderly loved by both parents. Or these bestfriends who are laughing until they cry. These couples who are holding hands and telling eachother " forever." Why can't I have that? Why am I feeling like everyone is so loved but me? This lie has haunted me. I didn't feel cared about. Sure I can put on a smile and say I'm fine, but the truth is that I just felt like I needed to feel this hole before I completely caved in. This led to lust. Anything that would just make me feel loved. This led to anger, so that I could just feel something, anything. I was numb. The thing is that I was missing my foundation of love. That I had strayed from the one who never leaves and never forsakes. He is there when I need to cry. He is never too busy. He thinks I am beautiful. He forgives. He is my rock. His name is Jesus. Let me tell you that Jesus sets free. Jesus is love.  Through Jesus , I am a beloved daughter. I am a child. I am a friend. This has filled that hole. Yes, I need human love, but I learned that I can't love others until I believe I am even worth loving. Jesus is my portion. oh, how he loves us. me and you. My prayer is that you would open your hearts to see that he is the only one who can satisfy fully. He heals your broken heart. The scars that boy left who you gave yourself to, he heals. The feeling of abandonment from family, he heals and revives your soul. The friend who you feel you can't talk to about your problems anymore, but you feel like you just have to vent to, he heals. He is the best listener. I have cried to him. I have yelled and screamed. I have laughed and smiled. He never leaves. He knows your heart, he wants you to get to know him. True love is the love in which gave up his life on a cross for you and me when we so don't deserve it. Open your heart to this everlasting love to renew your soul. His love never fails. I promise and so does he.